Three months ago I had what Oprah calls an “Ahhhha” moment. It’s a life altering moment when your looking back at your life and say “OMG…how did I not see that before? I’m so stupid!” More specifically, I realized that being cheated on, lied to, manipulated by my now ex-boyfriend for almost four years is a big no no and that I should have walked away from him the very first time he cheated and never looked back. Why did I take him back the first time? Why did I take him back after the second time he cheated and left me for someone else? How did I not see the signs throughout our relationship? I know the answers to these questions now and I’m at peace with my decisions and their consequences. I forgave my ex-boyfriend not because I wanted him back (because I do not- finally) but because forgiving him is also forgiving myself. It is freeing up all the anger, hatred and resent I had inside and letting it go so I have room for happiness- for my new life. Forgiving my ex was simple- it was accepting my new single status while dealing with the “shame” I felt that was difficult to deal with. So in addition to forgiving my ex- I had to forgive myself too. The later proved more difficult then I had expected. There is a lot more involved, which is why I decided to create a blog and write about it. It’s my way of venting to the world instead of doing what I really want to do- scream and yell at my ex!
Today is a great day. I’m in a way better place then I was three months ago. I have finally moved on, forgiven him and let go of all that resentment and anger. It definitely took time and it was not easy. I did a lot of reading, especially self help books and talking with other people who have experienced similar heartache. My nights consumed of reading, anything I can get my hands on just so I can temporarily forget about my heartache. It helped a lot- my mind wandered less to those hurtful memories. Even if it was for 20 minutes, it was 20 minutes of not thinking about him. 20 minutes of not having to think about four years of wasted time on someone who kept hurting me. So then I started thinking, how about that girl who doesn’t have anyone to talk to, the girl who is too embarrassed to talk about the issues within her relationship, how about the girl who is so insecure she can’t see how truly unhappy she is? I want to help that girl because I use to be that girl until someone helped me.
So I ask you fellow bloggers, readers, all the “single” ladies of the world, all the ladies out there who are trying to find Mr.Right but keep falling for Mr.Wrong. All the ladies who have been cheated on, abused, manipulated and lied to, all the ladies who are currently in a relationship with no trust. All the ladies who have a sister or a friend who fits any of the above-I ask you to follow our blog and lets learn from each other. Lets make sense of why we make stupid mistakes and how we can move on to a much healthier happier life.
For me it started three months ago and it is truly refreshing to say the least. I’m truly happy that I am no longer with someone I don’t trust and who took me for granted over and over again. Being single has its ups and downs but I would choose being single then stay with someone who does not ADD onto my life in a positive way.
So why did I name my blog “A Girl Unlike Any Other?” Someone once told me that if you want to be treated with respect and truly loved by a good man then you must act like “A girl unlike any other.“ You know the type of girl who wouldn’t normally do things that other girls would do. A girl unlike any other would never stay with someone she doesn’t trust. A girl unlike any other would never put up with emotional and mental abuse because she knows shes a girl unlike any other and the harsh mean words her boy friend is calling her are not true. In fact a girl unlike any other knows how fabulous she is. A girl unlike any other would never stay with a man who cheats on her because she knows she is worth so much more. A girl unlike any other knows there is a guy out there for her who would treat her with the respect and love she deserves. A girl unlike any other would never settle for just anyone. A girl unlike any other loves and respects herself and is classy at all times.
So ask yourself this….Are you a girl unlike any other?
XO Jo- A Girl Unlike Any Other
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