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“Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with” –Greg Behrendt He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth To Understanding Guys
Now who better to explain to us gals why men do the things they do then a 
GUY himself. It makes sense right? So I dove right into Greg Behrendt’s bestselling book, He’s Just Not That Into You. He shares with us reasons why we should stop wasting our time on guys who simply- aren’t into us. He stresses the fact that we cannot change a man no matter how hard we try or how perfect we think he is.
My favorite part about the book is that Greg did not sugar coat anything or try to make us feel better for being stupid. Sometimes you need that tough love to see things clearly. His harsh criticism to the many girls who asked him for advice gave light to the fact that relationships really aren’t that complicated…we are.
Each chapter begins with “He’s Just Not That Into You If….
He’s not calling you
He’s not having sex with you
He’s having sex with someone else
He doesn’t want to marry you
He’s breaking up with you
He disappeared on you
He’s married (or any other insane variation of being unavailable)
The chapters dive into the topic at hand so it was self-explanatory and an easy read. The first chapter “He’s Just Not That Into You If…He’s Not Calling You” is the most obvious. If a guy asks for your number but does not call after a week…he’s just not that into you. It’s that simple ladies. So why did he ask for your number in the first place? Well for starters guys would rather walk through fire then tell a girl he doesn’t like her. They probably think we will make a scene or cry our eyes out but the point is it’s the easiest way to satisfy a girl while she is still there.
So ladies do not make excuses for a guy who does not call you, even if HE asked for your number. No he did not lose your number, no he did not get into a car accident and no he is not crazy busy at work! These are excuses ladies, if he does not call don’t stress over it he’s just not that into you. A girl unlike any other does not stress over a guy who does not call her because she does not deal with stupid. Simple. As. That.
Looking back I had my fare share of waiting by the phone for that call or text message but now I know better. I realized I did not do anything wrong for him not to call. I also can’t expect every guy I meet to fall head over heels for me, it’s not realistic. However, I firmly believe that keeping the promise of calling is the very first brick in the house of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down the first time around, you are never going have a house. And ladies it’s cold outside.
Like Greg says in his book, “Don’t waste the pretty.” It’s my favorite quote from the book because it’s true ladies. Don’t waste your fabulous self on someone who is not into you. Let him go and move on. For those of you who are contemplating how difficult this may be for you, I understand. It is definitely easier for those who have experienced heartache to write these suckers off.
After you experience heartache you grow a pair (so to speak) and you become more selective and less egar to please every guy that walks into your life. It’s a natural defense mechanism and one that I am thankful to have. It can save you from potential heartache but it will also help you see the clear “signs” that he is just not that into you.
Nothing is worse than putting all of YOU into someone who isn’t doing the same. Trust me I know, after putting my all into an empty relationship for almost four years-this came easily for me. So being selective when dating and holding yourself back a little in the beginning can really benefit you in the long run. In other words, you’re allowed to be a little bitchy.
So ladies, do not let the “honeys” and the “babys” fool you into chasing him. His sweet nothings are exactly that. They are much easier to say than “I’m just not that into you.” Remember, actions speak louder than words.
This book is definitely worth a read. It will force you to take a good look at your current and past relationships and make changes to how you go about dating. It will get you thinking about why YOU continue to make excuses for the men in your life.
If he was the right one of us, there wouldn’t be any excuses to make, right? No more excuses ladies, start dating the smart way- with class and sass!
XO Jo- Girl Unlike Any Other
A few of my favorite quotes from the book: He’s Just Not That Into You
“The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.”– Greg Behrendt
“But he was so great!’ Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation” ―Greg Behrendt
“Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.” ―Greg Behrendt
“We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.” ―Greg Behrendt
“Busy’ is another word for ‘asshole’. ‘Asshole’ is another word for the guy you’re dating.” ―Greg Behrendt
PS: A big thank you to all the fabulous dolls out there who follow us on twitter and re-tweet our tweets and send us encouraging feedback. This blog was made for YOU. 🙂 XO Jo/G
agirlunlikeanyother 
I love that book! Have either of you read, “Why Men Love Bitches?” It’s another great one! My boyfriend is convinced I used the advice in that book to reel him in! lol
Yes! I love that book too Shari, I may review it next month 🙂 How did you reel him in using the book?
I really don’t think I used the book, but I agree with the advice! When I’m single and interested in a guy, it’s my nature to not give him a lot of attention as a defense mechanism. I continue to carry on as if I’m too busy to give him all of my time. I wont make plans, everything is kept at random and vague, because I always had other plans and he wound have been so lucky of one of them to fell through. lol And let’s face it, it’s unrealistic to get a man or woman comfortable with you not having a life that doesn’t revolve around them. The honeymoon phase isn’t reality. I can’t wait to hear your take on that book too.
Well some of that stuff mentioned isn’t too true. A guy will break up when he is terrified where things are going(that inclues good), or self-sabotage himself because he doesn’t think he is ready to meet the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
A great example is just about every groom wants to back out at some point but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her. When he grabs his bearings and finally realizes why he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and why he loves her.
It’s important to realize the influence emotions have over us. They own us if we don’t own them. Every person gets owned by their emotions, I have, you have, everyone, it’s an unavoidable lesson we all need to learn.
A guy that didn’t call in the first week may not have had a chance(rough work week, class schedule, whatever), or he may just have a huge crush on you and just be too anxious to call. Just because a guy waits doesn’t mean he isn’t attracted. Guys freeze up too, and I suffered from this at one point. If I call what will I say? Your mind goes nuts.
Just because he is having sex with someone else doesn’t mean he isn’t into you. That is unreal. Men separate sex from intimacy. There is the old saying “Men use intimacy to get sex, women use sex to get intimacy.” There are women I have sex with but I’d give up them for a few women I have a serious crush on, that I have never had sex with. We don’t have similar futures but we do have similar desires, sex. Some times we take what we can get simply because we place a woman above ourselves. There are limiting circumstances in other cases(such as dating your friend’s ex) even though both of you guys are obviously attracted with a ton of things in common, similar future, and tons of sexual tension(current situation).
I’m not saying that he doesn’t hold some truth, but I want to ask why it is the guys job to pursue? Why aren’t you confident enough to go after what YOU want? I agree you should never blame yourself for lack of interest, but I disagree with giving up without doing anything about it(such as waiting for a text or call), be pro-active. I love when a woman has the confidence to come after me. What’s disappointing is a woman do send a lot of signs but most men are just unaware(“Your missing the signs bro”).
Maybe I’m way off the mark, but sometimes it disappoints me that woman don’t realize sometimes we get a girls number, know their attracted, and are still terrified. So we never do anything about it. Realize this we are under the influence of the same emotions you are.
Hi, Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Greg’s book “He’s Just Not That Into You”. I will reply with my thoughts in my new post which I will put up this afternoon. Hope you don’t mind!
Thanks!- Jo